My Scribble Pad

Friday, August 19, 2005

Dirty Dancing


She looked at her watch , it was 3.45 am. Malini inserted the keys in the key hole opened the door cautiously, afraid that the doors screeching noise might wake up the neighbors. Once inside she went to the fridge and took out a bottle of water and gulped it down as though she has been thirsty for a decade. Then she went to the bathroom to scrub herself of all the dirt in the body. She wanted to scrub off the smell of smoke and tobacco which was stuck to her like a second layer of skin. She didn't want to leave a trace of the place she came from. She quickly started removing the make up on her face which was useless in concealing her visibly dark circles under her eyes. She despised her job more especially at such times when she looked at herself in the mirror.

Looking at her reflection she pitied the today remembering the yesterday when she came to Mumbai with innocence and dreams of becoming a model in her eyes. But life in Mumbai showed no mercy. With no one of the fashion industry to guide her or refer her she rocked between one agency to the other, some of them asking for enormous amount of commission other were more interested in getting her to bed. Finally when she ran out of money and was not able to pay her rent and was almost about to be thrown out of her pg accommodation , a girl in the same chawl introduced her to Anna the owner of the Bar who readily gave the job to her. Soon she was dancing to the tune of the latest Hindi masala songs feeding the hunger of sick minded men who never wasted a chance to take advantage of her flesh. But this was the only option she found to keep herself from dying of starvation.

Malini lived in a apartment located in a fairly conservative middle class society. She had told the landlord that she works for a hospital as a night nurse so she took extra care to make sure that her didn't arouse any suspicion of the neighbors about her dirty secret.

As Malini wiped off the bloody red lipstick from her lips, she wished to wipe out the guilt inside as easily as the smudged lipstick from her lips. She doubted if she ever will be able to live free of guilt that haunted her ever time she saw her reflection on the mirror.

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